Am I this? Or am I that?

For as long as I can remember I’ve been asking myself the BIG questions in life.

What’s my purpose? Why am I here? What should I be when I grow up?

Well I’m all grown up now (and have been for a while), so it may seem odd to hear that I still struggle with these questions.

But struggle I do.

You see while I may be a Life Coach with a passion for personal growth, I’m also a huge numbers geek.

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Am I worthy of love?

A girlfriend of mine recently said something that gave me pause.

Perhaps I hadn’t yet found a man worthy of me.

Worthy of me?

What a concept! It seems so basic. 

Yet I realized the truth of it as soon as she said it. That I’ve actually had it backwards all my life.

I’ve been trying to prove to men that I’m worthy of them.

I’ve worked so hard to show them that I’m good, kind, smart, and capable.

And even more, that I’m not too needy, too emotional, or lord help me, too dependent! For fear they would run in the opposite direction.

Ugh. Seriously?! Wtf is up with that?

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Just be yourself

When I was growing up my mother often said to me: just be yourself.

But did she really mean it? And why, after so many years, is it still so damn hard to do?

be yourself rocks in the sand

I have zero doubts my parents loved me. Yet sometimes their love felt conditional.

Just be yourself (as long as it’s the version we like).

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A new year, a new me

I’ve never been one for making New Year’s resolutions. Somehow they’ve always felt forced and hollow. With no real joy attached.

So last week, when a friend sent me a New Year’s Eve meditation I was momentarily skeptical. This better not be about resolutions, I grumbled to myself.

But I was pleasantly surprised.

The goal of the meditation was to come up with a word that would guide me through the new year.

Yes! A word. I loved this idea.

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Do less, be more

Why is it that some weeks feel so darn hard compared to others? Everything can be rolling along just fine and then…bam! You feel like a mack truck hit you.

This has definitely been one of those weeks for me.

One minute I felt excited and inspired. The next, all bent out of shape.

Strangely enough it all started during an upbeat coaching group I participate in weekly.

We were challenged to choose a long-term goal, and adopt a series of dailyradical steps that would move us closer to it. The idea being that instead of just fantasizing about a dream, we would take actual steps towards it.

Sign me up. As a Life Coach I love this sort of thing.

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Step into your enough-ness

Recently I heard a woman on the radio use the phrase: step into your enough-ness. It stopped me in my tracks. 

Wow.

Step into your enough-ness.

OK, I get it. What a great reminder for a woman like me, a recovering perfectionist.

And what a terrific book or workshop title. I wrote it down in my journal of great ideas, as I have done so many times before, and then promptly forgot about it.

Fast forward to today. I was out walking on the seawall, all alone in the rain. It was just me and my thoughts. And my growing anxiety about writing my very first blog.

What should I write about? 

What speaks to me? Comes from my heart? What would resonate with other women?

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