A girlfriend of mine recently said something that gave me pause.
Perhaps I hadn’t yet found a man worthy of me.
Worthy of me?
What a concept! It seems so basic.
Yet I realized the truth of it as soon as she said it. That I’ve actually had it backwards all my life.
I’ve been trying to prove to men that I’m worthy of them.
I’ve worked so hard to show them that I’m good, kind, smart, and capable.
And even more, that I’m not too needy, too emotional, or lord help me, too dependent! For fear they would run in the opposite direction.
Ugh. Seriously?! Wtf is up with that?
Clarity comes in interesting ways.
The other day I was listening to one of my favorite Life Coaches, Nancy Levin, on Hay House Radio when one of her callers said something that triggered an ah-ha moment for me. And helped me uncover a life-long pattern.
The woman was describing an unkind comment made by a dance teacher she’d had when she was young. It was a thoughtless comment that caused the caller to have doubts about herself and her body image for many years to come.
As the woman told her story I suddenly remembered an incident from my own childhood.
It was a comment made by my grade 4 teacher that ended up having a profound effect on me as well.
When I was growing up my mother often said to me: just be yourself.
But did she really mean it? And why, after so many years, is it still so damn hard to do?
I have zero doubts my parents loved me. Yet sometimes their love felt conditional.
Just be yourself (as long as it’s the version we like).