Live an authentic life you love
I’m in that in-between place again. The one I call “limbo-land.”
The space between “no longer” and “not yet” (as Life Coach, Nancy Levin calls it).
That I was ready to let go of.
Continue reading “Honour the space between no longer and not yet”
Years ago while going through my divorce, my therapist suggested I do an exercise about my parents.
I was working through some stuff around my own marriage, as well as the one that had been role-modeled to me by my mom and dad.
The exercise involved taking two pieces of paper and drawing a vertical line down the middle of each.
At the top of one column I wrote “my father.” And at the top of the other, “my mother.”
On one of the papers I listed all the traits I liked about my parents. On the other, all the ones I didn’t.
One I’ve never forgotten.
About a month ago – or “BTP” (before the pandemic) – I created a YouTube video called Start Before You’re Ready.
Given the climate at the time, the video was light and encouraging. It was meant to inspire you to overcome your fear of imperfection, failure/success, or procrastination.
To do the very thing you love. No matter what.
And to do it now.
Before you’re ready.
Since that time the whole world has shifted. But I’ve come to realize that those words “start before you’re ready” couldn’t be more relevant. Or more true.
Or more important than they are at this time.
Years ago, a thoughtful manager of mine wrote “be gentle on your soul” inside a beautiful journal she’d given me as a going away gift.
I was young and full of hope.
Both excited and nervous about taking such a huge leap of faith, into the unknown.
I’ve never forgotten how good it felt to open the cover of that journal, and read her words for the very first time.
Be gentle on your soul.
Ahhhhhh.
They resonated deep within me.
And gave me the permission, I unknowingly craved, to treat myself more kindly. As I took risks, and moved forward into the uncharted territory of my life.
For over a year now I’ve had a burning desire to post videos on social media. I’ve always enjoyed being in front of an audience, so it’s no big surprise.
But what is surprising (at least to me) is that I wasn’t making it happen.
No matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn’t take any action.
I felt frustrated and stuck.
Every time I got close to posting something I’d think: “don’t be ridiculous, who the heck is going to watch you?”
Not long ago my teenage son had a difficult decision to make, about which path to take moving forward.
He was frustrated. And feeling stuck. Unable to choose between option A or B, for fear of letting someone else down.
As I tried to uncover more details in order to help guide him, he slumped onto the sofa and grumbled: “I feel like no matter which decision I make it won’t be the right one.”
I totally got it. It didn’t seem like either choice was a very good one. While both had their pros and cons, there really wasn’t a win-win choice.
At least not from his point of view.
Over the past few months I’ve been wrestling with the question of “who am I?”
I suppose this shouldn’t surprise me. I’ve struggled with this question many times before. And even wrote a blog about it awhile back called: Am I this? Or am I that?
So just when I thought I’d made peace with it…I realized I hadn’t.
Trying to define myself as either one thing or another.
Are you a bookkeeper or a coach? Come on, which is it, Kerry?!
The reality is I’m both.
I have a confession to make.
I haven’t written a blog in 12 whole months. And I’ve felt very conflicted about it.
On one hand, I’ve had plenty to say and have started many drafts. On the other hand, I’ve been severely lacking in follow through.
And that’s just plain sucked.
And I’ve come up with all sorts of answers. Or perhaps they were just excuses.