Live an authentic life you love
I have a confession to make.
I haven’t written a blog in 12 whole months. And I’ve felt very conflicted about it.
On one hand, I’ve had plenty to say and have started many drafts. On the other hand, I’ve been severely lacking in follow through.
And that’s just plain sucked.
And I’ve come up with all sorts of answers. Or perhaps they were just excuses.
And felt like the long, dark days were closing in on you?
If so, you’re not alone.
I live in Vancouver, and while we don’t get a lot of snow in the winter, we do get our fair share of cold, grey, rainy days.
Every January or February I get hit by the winter doldrums. And my mood begins to feel as grey as our weather.
I want to climb under a big, warm comforter. And stay there.
Forever.
The gifts you were born with that make you uniquely you? The ones you were meant to share with the world?
Recently I was reminded of mine. And the timing couldn’t have been more perfect!
I was in the middle of a challenging situation with a colleague. I was feeling criticized and dismissed. As though I was just a number.
A cog in the wheel. Nothing special.
The exact opposite of how I believe we all deserve to feel.
As a result, my confidence was taking a hit. I began second-guessing myself. And everything I said or did.
I felt like I was walking on eggshells (always a bad sign for a recovering people-pleaser like me).
My intuition was on high alert. My brain began screaming “danger, danger, pay attention!”
So I decided to take a step back and analyze the situation a bit more carefully. To sit with my anxiety instead of run from it. To see what my body – always a barometer for my soul – had to say.
A girlfriend of mine recently said something that gave me pause.
Worthy of me?
What a concept! It seems so basic.
Yet I realized the truth of it as soon as she said it. That I’ve actually had it backwards all my life.
I’ve worked so hard to show them that I’m good, kind, smart, and capable.
And even more, that I’m not too needy, too emotional, or lord help me, too dependent! For fear they would run in the opposite direction.
Ugh. Seriously?! Wtf is up with that?
The other day I was listening to one of my favorite Life Coaches, Nancy Levin, on Hay House Radio. One of her callers said something that triggered an ah-ha moment for me.
And helped me uncover a life-long pattern.
The woman was describing an unkind comment made by a dance teacher she’d had when she was young.
It was a thoughtless comment. One that caused the caller to have doubts about herself and her body image for many years to come.
It was a comment made by my grade 4 teacher that ended up having a profound effect on me.
You’d think I’d be incredibly happy while accomplishing one of my life-long dreams.
Well sure, I was happy.
But I was also blindsided at the same time by some pretty deep feelings of self-doubt.
Dreams don’t always show up quite the way we imagine.
The journey to my dream started twenty plus years ago when I read a book called Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You Through the Secrets of Personality Type by Barbara Barron and Paul D. Tieger.
Continue reading “Embracing all of me (even the parts I don’t like)”
I started not long ago in response to a challenge from a coaching friend of mine. I happened to mention to her in passing that I’d been playing with the idea of blogging for years. The next thing I knew, in classic coaching style, she was holding me accountable for posting my very first blog that same week.
I was terrified at first. But up for the challenge. Because let’s get real, I knew deep down inside of me there was a writer dying to get out.
But did she really mean it? And why, after so many years, is it still so damn hard to do?
I have zero doubts my parents loved me. Yet sometimes their love felt conditional.
Just be yourself (as long as it’s the version we like).