If you’re asking how to find yourself again, something has quietly shifted.
Maybe it happened gradually — years of taking care of everyone else, keeping things running, being the dependable one.
Or maybe a specific change brought it into focus.
Either way, you’re here, and that awareness matters. Finding yourself again doesn’t mean starting over.
It means creating enough space to hear yourself clearly — and learning to trust what you hear.
Here’s what it looked like for me….
It was another freezing, gray winter morning in Vancouver.
I pulled on my down coat, wrapped my wool scarf tight, and tried (yet again) to convince myself that wet, slushy sidewalks were charming.
Spoiler alert: They weren’t.
As I stood there, dreading the cold, one thought hit me loud and clear:
There has to be a better way.
So I finally stopped dreaming about it and made it happen.
I traded in my rain boots for flip-flops and set up shop in Puerto Escondido, Mexico.
For four weeks, I worked, relaxed, and soaked up the sun.
My month away was a huge success.
(Give me decent wifi, fresh fish tacos, and a long sandy beach, and I’m good to go.)
But here’s what surprised me…
How much I loved socializing with people from all over the world.
Which really shouldn’t have surprised me, given the years I spent working in tourism. And the number of people who used to call me “Julie McCoy” (think Love Boat in the 80s).
But somewhere over the years, in the rhythm of everyday life (between working, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, and answering yet another “what’s for dinner, mom?”) I lost that piece of myself.
Until Mexico.
Where I blended work with long morning beach walks, afternoons by the pool, and late-night conversations on the rooftop of my little boutique hotel with travellers from everywhere.
It was everything I’d hoped for.
But the best part? Something I never expected.
I found myself again.
Not dramatically. Not all at once.
But piece by piece, over fish tacos and sunset conversations, I remembered something I hadn’t even realized I’d pushed aside.
✨ The part of me that comes alive around new people and new places.
✨ The part that thrives on connection, laughter, and shared stories.
✨ The part that genuinely loves her life.
I had no idea when I left home that this would be the gift I came back with.
A lost piece of myself, reclaimed.
What “finding yourself again” actually looks like
Here’s what I’ve noticed in my work as a life transitions coach. And in my own life:
It’s rarely a dramatic revelation.
It’s not a sabbatical or a breakup or a moment of sudden clarity.
Most of the time, knowing how to find yourself again looks quieter than you’d expect.
It’s a Tuesday afternoon when you do something you used to love and remember: ohhhh, this is me.
It’s a conversation where you say something honest and think: I haven’t said that out loud in years.
It’s a small choice you make for yourself, not anyone else. And it feels right in a way that surprises you.
Finding yourself again is less about discovering something new and more about making room for what’s already there.
Why you lost touch with yourself in the first place
It almost always comes down to the same thing…
You got very good at taking care of everything and everyone else. Which isn’t a flaw. It’s just what capable, responsible women do.
But over time, your own needs, preferences, and instincts got quieter.
Not gone. Just harder to hear.
The women I work with aren’t broken. They’re disconnected.
And there’s a difference.
Broken implies something needs fixing. Disconnected just means you need to close the distance between who you’ve been showing up as and who you actually are.
How to find yourself again: where to start
The truth is, learning how to find yourself again doesn’t require a dramatic change.
You don’t need a plan.
You don’t need to blow up your life.
You just need to start paying attention.
A few questions worth sitting with…
Slowly. Not all at once:
💫 When was the last time you felt truly like yourself? What were you doing?
💫 What’s something you used to love that you’ve quietly set aside?
💫 If you could reclaim one small piece of yourself right now, what would it be?
💫 What’s one thing you keep putting off that’s actually for you?
💫 Where in your life do you feel most like yourself — and where do you feel the least?
There’s no right answer. But there’s usually a true one.
And it tends to surface when you stay open and curious rather than searching for certainty.
Trust what surfaces
The part of you that feels lost isn’t gone. She’s just been quieter than everything else demanding your attention.
When you create a little space (even a small, imperfect amount) she starts to speak up again. And the more you hear yourself clearly, the easier it becomes to trust what you hear.
That’s where real clarity comes from. Not from figuring everything out — from learning to trust your own inner knowing again.
If you’re not sure what your next steps look like from here, that’s normal. You don’t have to have it all mapped out.
You just have to be willing to start listening.
Kerry xo
If this post resonated, I created a free guide to go alongside it.
How to Find Yourself Again is a gentle but honest companion for when something feels off and you’ve lost touch with who you are. Inside you’ll find four grounding questions to help you hear yourself again, and a simple framework for understanding where the drift started — and why you’re probably not as lost as you feel.
It’s not a to-do list. It’s a place to slow down and listen.