Ever heard the word hurkle-durkle?
It’s an old Scottish term that means lying in bed and lounging long after it’s time to get up.
Just resting, without guilt.
Not rushing into your day. Not trying to accomplish a single thing.
Simply…being.
When I first heard “hurkle-durkle” from a friend, I smiled. And something inside of me relaxed.
For so many of us, the idea feels both wonderful…
And impossible.
Here’s what I’ve been hearing from women everywhere lately…
“I feel guilty if I rest.”
“I’m in rest mode and it’s hard.”
“I’m waiting for a break, but I could be waiting forever.”
It’s as if we don’t quite know what to do with stillness.
Even when our bodies are begging for it.
The other day a client told me she’d said her first “no” to her parents.
She was exhausted and didn’t want to go to a family dinner, so she didn’t.
She stayed home instead.
She said it felt freeing and guilt-filled all at the same time…
Like she was doing something wrong, even though it was exactly what she needed.
That’s the thing about self-compassion: it rarely feels easy at first.
We’ve been trained to be good girls.
Responsible, helpful, productive.
And somewhere along the way, being kind to ourselves started to feel selfish.
But what if slowing down isn’t selfish? Or lazy?
What if “hurkle-durkling” — resting without guilt — is actually a sacred act?
One that allows you to come home to yourself.
Because self-compassion isn’t just soft blankets, warm tea, and bubble baths (though those are lovely too).
It’s having the willingness to say:
“I matter, too. My needs count. My rest is valid.”
It’s letting yourself slow down, and stop striving for a little while.
Not because you’ve earned it, but because you deserve it…
Simple because you’re human.
If it feels hard to give yourself permission to rest, start small:
💖 Stay in bed an extra ten minutes on the weekend.
💖 Leave the laundry where it is and go for a walk outside instead.
💖 Pause before saying yes: take a quiet moment to see what feels right for you.
💖 End your day five minutes earlier than usual.
💖 Forgive yourself for not doing it all — or perfectly — this week.
These tiny moments of grace add up.
Each one begins to rebuild your self-trust. One small step at a time.
So if you’ve been craving a softer way to be with yourself…
To hush the inner critic and rest without guilt…
I made something to help: 10 Simple Ways to Be Kinder to Yourself
It’s a free guide full of small, doable ways to practice self-compassion and gentle self-care, even when it feels hard.
You don’t have to push your way to more joy.
Sometimes the most healing thing you can do is gently hurkle-durkle your way back to yourself.
Kerry xo
P.S. If you’ve been craving permission to slow down or wondering how to rest without guilt, you don’t have to do it on your own. The Joy Reset Session is a 1:1 coaching call that helps you come home to yourself with more self-compassion and ease — a gentle pause in the middle of your busy life.