Tired of doing everything for everyone? Be kinder to yourself

There was a time when I believed if I wanted something done “right,” I had to do it myself.

And not just little things like the dishes or how the towels got folded — but everything.

As a single parent, I wore every hat:

Mom, dad, breadwinner, cook, cleaner, planner.

Fixer and feeler-of-all-the-things.

I didn’t give myself the luxury of slowing down.

I didn’t ask for help.

And I sure as hell didn’t trust that anyone else could (or would) step in.

And honestly?

A big part of me didn’t want them to.

Because if they did it wrong, it would just be more work for me.

Because if I let go, everything might fall apart.

And because deep down, I thought being needed meant…

I was worthy.

And I mattered.

But over time, that way of thinking didn’t make me strong.

It made me tired.

Resentful.

Disconnected from myself and what I actually needed.

I hear versions of this all the time from the women I coach:

And it’s no wonder.

Because many of us learned that being responsible and selfless — and doing everything for everyone —  is what makes us “good” or “worthy.”

But here’s the thing…

When we do everything, we leave no space for anyone else to step up.

We say we want help, but we don’t make room for it.

We say we want joy, but we’re too depleted to find it.

And the person we end up being the most frustrated with?

Ourselves.

So these days, instead of doing everything for everyone, I’m practicing something different.

I’m letting myself soften.

I’m allowing myself to receive.

To rest. To have more fun.

And to do things just because they make me happy.

(Like going for this pedicure, which I haven’t done in years!) 

To trust that the people I love (including my now grown son) are responsible for their own lives…

And that I don’t have to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders anymore.

It’s not selfish to care for ourselves.

It’s self-compassionate.

And it opens the door to a lighter, more joyful way of living.

So if you’re feeling the weight of doing everything for everyone and forgetting who you are in the process…

I see you.

And I promise, it’s not too late to come back to yourself.

To help you begin, I created something simple and gentle:

10 Simple Ways to Be Kinder to Yourself  (Even When It Feels Really Hard)…

It’s a quick and easy guide with small, doable steps to help you start softening, even when life feels heavy.

You can grab your copy here. 

Because you don’t have to do everything for everyone to be worthy.

And you deserve to feel like you again.

Kerry xo