A few years ago, a girlfriend of mine said something that made me pause.
Perhaps I hadn’t found a man worthy of me.
Worthy of me?
What a concept!
It seemed so basic.
Yet I realized the truth of it as soon as she said it.
That I’d actually had it backwards all my life.
I’d been trying to prove to men that I was worthy of love.
I’d worked hard to show them that I was ‘good enough.’
Kind. Smart. Capable enough.
And that I wasn’t too needy.
Or lord help me, too dependent!
For fear they would run in the opposite direction.
It was time I conquered that limiting belief!
And replaced it with a more positive belief.
Because my life actually spoke to the fact that I was far from any of those.
I was a strong & independent woman.
I’d been a single parent for years. And I’d worked hard to build a stable life for my son & I.
I earned a good living, owned my own home & saved money for the future.
I was also blessed with a wonderful circle of kind & loyal friends.
And a great family.
I was self-aware & had done my *work.*
In other words I was always tweaking myself to be a better version of me.
A better mother.
Partner. Friend. Sister. Aunt.
And human being.
If anything I’d taken on too much responsibility.
Tried too hard to please others.
And had spent too much time improving myself.
I realized, after my friend’s comment, that I needed to ease up on myself.
And raise the bar a little.
Or rather a lot.
I needed to be more needy.
More willing to show a man my sometimes hidden emotions.
Like my anger & sadness.
Even if it scared them off.
Because really, who cares if it did?
That was me.
Being ALL of me.
And isn’t that what having an authentic relationship is all about?
Being willing to be vulnerable with your partner?
Showing all your sides?
And loving each other, no matter what?
‘Cuz we’re all human.
We ALL have emotions.
And those emotions aren’t good or bad.
Positive or negative.
Healthy or unhealthy.
Emotions are simply energy in motion.
That need to move through you.
And they provide you with valuable clues on how to live in alignment with your true desires.
They show you what’s working for you. And what’s not.
Being willing to express your full range of emotions in a healthy way is the key to living a rich life.
So when you show up as all of you, if people don’t like you…
Because it’s more important that YOU like you!
You’re with yourself for the rest of your life.
So perhaps it’s time for you (just like it was for me) to stop proving to others you are worthy of love.
To stop being who you think you should be.
And instead, just being yourself.
ALL of you.
The good. The bad. The ugly.
Because no matter what…
You are worthy of love.
Just as you are.
And others can take you. Or leave you.
‘Cuz in the end, you’ll survive my friend.
Actually, you’ll do more than that…
P.S. Need a little boost of self-love to get you started? Download my free guided self-love meditation here.