I used to work with someone who was super controlling + passive aggressive.
If I walked into the office in the morning, all talkative and happy, she’d ask:
“Are you always like this in the morning?”
(insert eye roll and condescending tone) 🙄
When I had a crush on a handsome co-worker and she found out, her big show of support?
“I don’t find any of the guys here at all attractive.”
And when I started spending time with two younger co-workers who felt like a breath of fresh air, she made a point of saying:
“I just had lunch with some ‘age‑appropriate’ friends.”
Ouch! 😮
She never outright told me to tone it down.
But let’s be real…
She didn’t have to.
Her underlying message came through loud and clear:
“Be less. Fit in. Don’t shine your light. You’re making me feel uncomfortable.”
And for a while, I let it get to me. 😠
I second‑guessed myself constantly…
Am I too much?
Too loud?
Too silly?
Too old to hang out with younger friends?
But here’s the thing I know now — and what I help my coaching clients remember too:
It’s time to stop dimming your light to fit into someone else’s expectations.
You have every right to shine.
Because here’s the truth…
Other people’s discomfort isn’t your responsibility.
(read that again!)
You aren’t here to shrink yourself, play small…
Or fit into someone else’s idea of who THEY think you should be.
You’re here to be true to yourself, feel energized and alive…
And yes (call me crazy) bring more joy into your life! 💃
It’s time to stop dimming your light so others feel comfortable around you.
And if that feels hard right now, I’ve got something that can help.
What to Say When You Need to Hold a Boundary
It’s a free guide of word-for-word scripts for the exact moments you freeze, over-explain, or give in — so you don’t have to find the words when it’s hardest.
No overwhelm. Just language you can actually use.
Inside you’ll find scripts for:
✨ Saying no clearly — without over-explaining or justifying yourself.
✨ What to say when someone pushes back — so you can stay steady instead of caving.
✨ Buying yourself time before deciding — because “let me think about it” is a complete sentence.
✨ Protecting your privacy when someone oversteps — without owing anyone an explanation.
✨ What to tell yourself when the guilt hits afterwards — because it usually shows up right on schedule, and it doesn’t mean you got it wrong.
So if you’ve spent years trying to keep the peace…
Fitting into someone else’s idea of what’s “appropriate”…
Or being the responsible “good girl”…
You’re not alone.
And you don’t have to stay stuck there.
Cuz life’s waaaaaay too short to keep dimming your light and playing small, so someone else can feel better.
(while you continue to feel like absolute crap 💩)
I know, because I did it.
But I also know the freedom that comes when you finally stop. 🙌
That’s exactly what this guide is here for — to help you hold your ground and stop dimming your light for others.
👉 Grab your free copy of What to Say When You Need to Hold a Boundary here.
And take that first freeing step back to yourself.
Kerry xo