You are good enough: stop waiting for someone to save you

I learned the lesson of how to say ‘you are good enough’ to myself, later in life.

And I learned it the hard way.

I realized I had to stop waiting for someone else to save me.

To make my life better.

That it was no one else’s job but my own.

Because no one taught me to be that powerful when I was young.

Instead, like many women of my generation, I was taught to be a “good girl.” 

And do what I was told.

To grow up, get married and have kids. 

And to look to my husband/a man to complete my life.

And that I hadn’t succeeded until I’d done all these things.

So when I got married years ago, I expected my marriage to complete me.

I expected HIM to complete ME.

But that’s not what happened.

He made my life…

(Um…how shall I say this?)

Miserable to be honest!

In fact we made each other’s lives miserable.

Simply put, we were not a good fit.

Like many people that get divorced, I had my own work to do.

I had to figure out what my own needs were, separate from his.

Separate from what I’d been told they were, by my family. And by society.

I had to learn how to stand on my own two feet. To have my own back.

To figure out who I really was.

And not look to others to tell me who I was.

I  had to rescue me.

From my own chronic self-doubts and limiting beliefs.

I had to learn to believe the words: you are good enough.

Just as I was.

And to discard the line from the movie Jerry McGuire that I’d been carrying around in my head for years:

“You complete me.”

I call B.S.!

No one completes us!

They may compliment us, or enhance our lives. 

But they sure as heck don’t complete us. Because we were never incomplete in the first place.

We’ve always been whole.

We just didn’t know it. Or no one ever taught us this.

We weren’t taught to stand on our own two feet. 

To set healthy boundaries. And say no if or when we wanted to.

So next time you don’t feel good enough.

Or you’re looking for someone else to rescue you. Or make your life better…

Please do me a favour.

Go look in the mirror.

Because your real savior is looking back at you.

And SHE is the one to help you be the person you are.

That you always were.

She’s been there for you all along.

YOU are the person you’ve been waiting for. And you are good enough.

Just as you are.

Kerry xo

P.S. Watch my video Showing Up As Good Enough here.