The other week I caught myself saying something I’d vowed NEVER to say again…the word “should.”
As in…
“You should drive to the mall to do some shopping.”
Say whaaaaat? (cue head-swiveling moment!)
Personally I avoid malls. They make me feel anxious and jittery.
And not the peaceful way I wanna feel in life.
(I prefer wandering through small stores on cute little streets — if I even wanna go shopping at all!).
So I can’t believe I almost guilted myself into doing something I don’t enjoy.
Just because a voice inside (SPOILER ALERT: NOT my soul!) was saying the word should.
Have you ever done that?
Told yourself you SHOULD do something…
Even if it didn’t feel good?
(I’m guessing if you’re still reading this, you have)
But hey, no judgement here.
It’s hard to resist sometimes.
Because as women we’re constantly inundated with messages of who we should BE.
And what we should DO.
The world keeps shouting at us:
Be more. Do more. Buy more!
(even post on Instagram or Facebook more!)
Heaven forbid you buck the system and check in with yourself.
And say “um, no thanks, I’m gonna pass on that.”
Whatever *that* is…
- Cooking elaborate meals (when you don’t even enjoy being in the kitchen)
- Shopping at crazy-busy times of the year (when you’re already feeling exhausted and kinda broke)
- Attending big functions in person (when you’d rather stay home in your jammies and watch Netflix)
- Comparing your life to someone else’s on social media (and feeling all sh*tty and less-than!)
Well surprise, surprise (hopefully not though, cuz you know I’m an empowerment coach, right?! ) I’m here to tell you differently.
And to give you a quick tip for making life as authentic and joyful as possible!
Here goes (drumroll please)… 🥁
Stop saying the word should!
Yup.
In fact, delete the word “should” from you vocab altogether!
Pronto.
Because should is not a nice word!
It’s NOT coming from your soul.
Or your intuition.
Or your kind inner wisdom.
The word “should” is coming from outside of you.
From someone somewhere who once told you WHO and HOW to be (which probably made you feel like crap)…
Like that mean 2nd grade teacher who yelled at you whenever you made a mistake.
Your ‘so-called friend’ who implied you were an idiot for quitting a job you hated. 🙄
Or your well-meaning parents who wanted you to fit in (but forgot to mention that it’s more important for you to be your true self).
Or society with all it’s rules about what ‘good girls’ should do.
Basically anyone who’s ever told you who you should be. Or what you should be doing.
(whether it felt right for you or not)!
It’s a voice you learned to listen to…because it kept you safe.
But here’s the thing my friend, you ARE safe now.
And all those guilt-laden ‘shoulds’ are no longer serving you.
So it’s time to kick the word should to the curb.
For good!!
And whenever you catch yourself saying you ‘should’ do something, please for the love of Pete…
(or in this case Neil Patrick Harris)…
STOP IT!
And instead…
Take a big deep breath, and ask yourself (gently)…
What do I really WANT to do?
What feels right for ME?
Then listen for your answer…YOUR truth within…
And then go do THAT instead.
Which is exactly what I did.
I happily skipped the mall, got comfy on my sofa, and started writing this blog to you.
Which felt waaaay more self-honouring and authentic in the end!
So stop saying the word should.
And just go do whatever feels right for YOU.
Kerry xo
P.S. For more tips on how to ditch the word should, download my FREE guide: How to Stop Overcommitting Yourself & Set Healthy Boundaries.
OR check out my mini-course Boundaries Bootcamp: Say no without guilt. Speak up without second-guessing. Reclaim your time, energy, and peace with boundaries that feel like you.