How I finally started overcoming my fear of being seen

For over a year now I’ve had a burning desire to post videos on social media.

I’ve always enjoyed being in front of an audience, so it’s no big surprise.

But what is surprising (at least to me) is that I wasn’t making it happen.

No matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn’t take any action.

I felt frustrated and stuck.

I was paralyzed with fear. Of putting myself out there.

Every time I got close to posting something I’d think:

“Don’t be ridiculous, who the heck is going to watch you?”

My mean little inner critic (who seems to enjoy keeping me “down”) would even go so far as to say:

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

Also known as:

“Don’t get too big for your britches!”

As though stepping into my full, authentic self, and shining my own unique light out into the world was a bad thing.

Yup. That’s the kind of crazy sh*t my generation was brought up to believe.

We were taught to be good girls and boys.

How to shut up, smile, and get back in line.

How NOT to want too much. Or take up too much space.

Staying safe for many of us meant staying small.

And fitting in.

And often staying hidden.

As a people-pleaser for most of my life, I’d become a master of fitting in.

Of figuring out who I thought people needed me to be.

At least the old me had.

The new me?

Well, she definitely knew how to set better boundaries.

She knew who she was. And what she wanted.

So wtf was up then?

Why hadn’t the new, improved (older and wiser) me gotten her act together?

Why hadn’t she posted any videos yet?

At first I thought it was because I hadn’t tackled the HOW.

I’ll be honest, I’m a very practical, logical kind of woman.

I like to know how to do things — and do them well — before I leap off any cliffs.

That just makes sense in my world.

But even after participating in an inspiring three-week video challenge (twice!) last year — where I learned all sorts of tips and tricks that helped increase my confidence level — I still couldn’t overcome my fear of going public.

I just didn’t understand why though.

What was going on?

I finally had the know-how. And the experience.

I’d created and shared almost 40 videos within the challenge’s private Facebook community.

And enjoyed…nooooo, loved…doing them!

So what was stopping me from overcoming my fear?

From following my inner ding (my feel-good barometer that I’ve written about in another blog)?

After months of staying stuck, and feeling disappointed in myself, it finally hit me:

There was an underlying fear holding me back.

A BIG one.

I was afraid of being judged.

Of being criticized by others.

And looking like a fool.

The very thought of putting myself out there on video made me feel extremely vulnerable.

And exposed.

Like someone would finally learn my secret.

That I just wasn’t good enough.

Wasn’t talented, interesting or knowledgeable enough.

And yes, sadly, even young enough.

No wonder I wasn’t getting anywhere.

My fear of not being good enough had totally derailed me.

Instead of being brave and believing in myself — believing I WAS good enough — I’d made a pact with my fear to stay small.

And safe on the sidelines.

Until this past weekend that is.

When a dear friend of mine (and an awesome life coach) challenged me to start overcoming my fear.

Once and for all.

To take a step. One doable, achievable, baby step towards my goal.

Towards the thing that she and I both knew I’d wanted for a long, long time.

To prove to myself that I was worth it.

That I could do it.

And I wouldn’t die of embarrassment.

Like I sometimes felt I would in my most vulnerable moments.

My friend was right of course.

It was time to take action. And start overcoming my fear.

I wasn’t going to shrink back.

Stay hidden.

Or play small any longer.

Instead I was going to shine my inner light brightly!

And no one, including (especially) me, was going to stop me.

I was going to take one baby step forward. Finally.

So, here it is.

My first public video on YouTube. Ever.

It’s 100% me.

Imperfect. Spontaneous. Real.

Just me. Doing me.

And I have to say. It feels good.

Reeeaaally good.

To FINALLY be overcoming my fear. And being on the other side of it.

The fear that kept me hidden for so long.

Too long.

But not anymore.

Taking this one small step has both energized and freed me from my fear.

As did all the encouraging words of support from those (my tribe) who watched it and cheered me on.

I can’t wait to post more videos!

Sooooooo….what about you?

Is there something you’ve been longing to do or say?

A dream you haven’t yet found the courage to follow?

If so, what’s one small action step you can take today to get started? 

An easy step?

One that’ll help you build momentum?

And move you closer to what it is you want — and deserve — out of life?

Now go. Take that step.

Seriously.

Take it! No matter what.

Because it’s not nearly as difficult as you might think. And it’s far more empowering than you could ever imagine!

Trust me. I speak from experience.

Kerry xo

P.S. Curious how things turned out after overcoming my fear and posting that first video? Come visit my YouTube channel here to watch what’s unfolded since — spontaneous, imperfect, joy-filled moments of me showing up as I am. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll inspire you to take your own brave step too.